“The Earth has Music for those who listen”

I live by collecting moments not things, This depiction is a perfect example. Just viewing this image tell me how does it make you feel? What do you smell? . I can taste the warm breeze, I breath in and get a sense of calmness, I can smell the purity and I can hear the chant of the ocean. The refreshing look at this photo is my therapy. Most people go through life trying to figure out how to deal with things even pay money to receive assistance in life. What they fail to realize and what I am glad I have found out is that all it takes is a moment of nature; from a walk or sitting on an empty beach to swimming or even bike riding. My moment at this empty beach gave me clarity. The blue water matching the blue sky is well defined as leisure. No matter how ill I may become or how dark moments may get there is no better cure then the graceful tranquility of nature. It is time to Appreciate the Creation around you.

Untold Memory of a child……

Untold Memory of a child......

” Waking up on a nice summer morning, free to roam outside and be a kid that I am. No school just me having fun. That’s what I thought every morning during school vacation. What child doesn’t love summer right!
I get myself up throw on some shorts a t-shirt and of course some running sneakers. Mom has breakfast ready but of course Im ready to run freely. So as any child would I eat my breakfast as if I were a hamster; just stuffing and storing. Barely being able to say “be back in a little mommy”.
I run down stairs and stand outside for a second taking in the nice breeze and the summer time smell. The charcoal smell from the cookouts, mixed with the smell of chlorine from the pools. I take a glance at my bike then glance at my knees remembering that every scrape cut and bruise was from me getting on my bike, but that only made me get on again.
The one thing that makes things not so fun is having to ride alone, well that’s what happens when your an early bird. Well I think its time to go and wake my friends up right? Right. So here I am riding to my friends house trying all kinds of tricks on my bike. No hands, Wheelies and other tricks that had potential in adding to my artwork of cuts on my legs.
My 3 minute bike ride that at that time felt like a 20 minute bike ride finally got me here. So I walk up the stairs to this beautiful sea green 3 family house surrounded by black fencing and ring the door bell and no answer. I wait and I ring one more time, Nothing again. Now I know its early but I’m ready to play so I need my friend to wake up.
I head to the back yard and see her bike already outside and the back door open. So I began to knock on the open door, the strong stench of smoke hits me. Her uncle comes out holding what seemed like a cigarette but had a much stronger smell and was wrapped in all white wrapping.
He says ” Hey she’s inside in the 2nd bedroom” , Seeing her bike outside I joyfully skip my way in and as I am passing the first bedroom hearing nothing but myself breathing I start to get a feeling in my stomach, my hands are shaking so quickly, I stop for a second and remember having this same feeling before getting on a ride at the carnival. So I continued with no problem into the second bedroom, which didn’t seem to be the room of a little girl. There was a Bed on a brown rusted frame, Bland walls and a dresser with men products. I turn around to walk out and before I could his tall presence stood in front of me. The stench of the strong smoke hit my face. and when I looked up a see him with a side smirk. I try and make a run for it but before I knew it he rolls his sleeves up and picks me up and throws me on the bed. The bed was so stiff falling on it was as if I was falling on hard cement. The felling in my stomach starts to slide up to my throat. I unknowingly was in a state of panic.
He grabs my face and he runs his filthy hands that had looked as if he were working on cars through my hair. My body starts to tremble, I start to try and let the words “Let me go” out but it was almost as if my mouth was saying it but no sound was coming out with it.
He opens my legs and rubs his dirty nailed hands on my body in places that I was taught was inappropriate, my mind is screaming out so many words but still no sound. He then grabs my face and sticks his tongue in my mouth, all that a felt was the smoke stench now in my mouth. Finally the thoughts that were in my mind released with sound. I Bit down on his tongue and started to kick and swing my arms in all kinds of directions with power that I never knew I had. I screamed so loud that neighbors were sure to hear, he let go and he now was in a state of panic, allowing me the time I needed to escape…. I run out the house get on my bike and what use to seem like a 20 minute bike ride had now become an hour bike ride to get home and fall into mommys arms……….”

This 7 year old child is now 26 years old with a 6 year old child. Due to that fact that this 7 year old child’s story had remained untold, there is now a 6 year old child that has a paranoid mother, a mother living in anxiety and fear. A mother that s suspicious of anyone who comes near her and her child. But now that this story is being told maybe now that mother can let go of her pass and live a positive and healthy lifestyle with her child. #TeachOurKidsToSpeakUp

Better Than Nothing…

Why do we settle? What is really considered settling? Questions like this run through my mind daily. At times I feel like maybe I am settling but then I also feel like I am waiting for everything to get better. I would consider myself to be involved in what I call a “Situationship”. The reason I call it that is because it feels and seems like a relationship but the reality is that its not. How do we get our selves wrapped up in something like this? I’ll never know how and why I allowed myself to become part of this “situationship”. There is a song that perfectly describes how we feel when caught in this type of situation. The name is “better than nothing. Sung by K Michelle. The song is so meaningful and perfectly describes me. There are times that everything is great and there are also bad times. But when we speak and when everything is good it feels perfect and I feel happy. I truly believe that he is sincere with me and I feel like its real, But is it? How can I really tell. I catch myself battling these different kind of emotions on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel like I should walk away and move forward but then I start to feel like A little bit of happiness is “Better than Nothing. Its not healthy that I know but I almost feel like no one can really compare to him. I don’t think I’d find this kind of happiness or this kind bond with anyone else. Does that feeling give me the right to allow myself to be a second option or to be placed on the back burner? I know it doesn’t. Am I really to naïve or just a bad judge of character. I’m pretty much stuck and I wont know where we stand anytime soon. So what do I really do? When did it become ok for me to settle? I’m all full of so many questions and left unsure as to what road to take. I strongly believe that he loves me or is that just what I want to believe that. It sucks because we leave ourselves in a position where we wait until we get hurt to figure out what we should do. I accept just a little of attention from a man to make me stay; He can do so much wrong but the little bit I get from him keeps me standing by this mans side. I offer complete loyalty in return I get A minute or 2 of joy. Is it worth it, I guess I wont know until they set him free.

“I know that love ain’t fair, And I know he’s wrong but I don’t care.Cause a little of something
Is better than nothing. When you need somebody so much You go through the pain to get to the love..”
~K Michelle~

Trouble in Sisterhood…..

Trouble in Sisterhood.....

Why does it seem like friendships are no longer valued, nor are they sincere. Its hard and Rare to find. My Friends are considered my sisters, But me and my sisters are having a dysfunctional moment. Are we sometimes to hard on each other? Are some of us just to sensitive? Whatever case may be friendship should never come to a point of destruction off of a simple debate or disagreement. I think that as friends we care so much but we fail to express it in a positive delivery. We all want whats best for each other but we fail to see that we all have to learn from our mistakes. Also what you may see as a mistake may not be the case at all. Allow your friends to live their life without regrets with out being held back. We should be stating our opinions and giving our advice with out the judgement and with also reminding our friends that regardless of the bad choice or bad things that may be done we will still be there for them. Maybe that’s not what friendships consist of anymore. Well I have faith that my sisters will pull it together, we all have our faults but its something we all accepted entering this sisterhood right?

“I believe that no matter how good a friend is, they`re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that……”

My Introduction

My very first blog, I guess ill let it start with a mini introduction to my life that way you can get an insight into what you can expect. I’m a 26 year old with a 6 year child. I Work a normal 9-5 and have my circle of friends that I call sisters that I mostly remain with, I am the youngest of 3 kids. Most think I live a typical life, but I have untold stories as well as we all may have but I’m taking this opportunity to let it out. I’ve finally found a form of expression to air out everything. I’m a hopeless romantic I wear my heart on my sleeve I’m very emotional and an over thinker. I am also a sincere person who values everyone and everything. I plan to address my daily life situations and express my feelings regarding them. I also would love to get different perspectives from different people.I’m all about photos and quotes; Music also is something that gets me by in life so expect all of the above. Well Lets see how this works for me, hope its enjoyed.

Lifes Daily situations, and an insight on Who I am and the life I live.