A Good Heart, The gift and curse that some of us have. They say “No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart” and while in fact that may be true, is it a good thing. Having a good heart and caring for others is perfectly ok and is an alluring quality to have, but to what extent? How can you tell when you have reached a point In your life where your good-hearted ways have transformed you into a “People Pleaser”? Once you do realize what you have become how do you just end it? Like I stated before its is The gift and the curse.
We all want what best for the people around us and we always want to be there for them and that is perfectly normal. I think that in the mist of attempting to always be there for everyone around you start to lose your self. The things you did do to try to either help or just because your kind can start to become things your are forced to do. Once caught in the web of doing acts of kindness your start to put other people’s needs before your own as well as other people’s wants. In doing and doing and doing you start to get to a point where you can’t say no. What you once did out of generosity has now become expected of you. You start to push aside the things you want to do and things that you should be doing for everyone else. You than become a doormat, a person who allows everyone else to walk right over them. In the expedition of making everyone else happy, you create misery in your own life. Why do we do this?
I have come to realize that a major part of it is fear among many other reasons. Whether it’s the fear of being left, fear of losing a friend, fear of what would be said about you and so on. Allowing fear to consume your life in this matter has got to be the most unhealthiest way to live. You have to know when you have reached a point of neglect in your life. We allow despair to make our decisions. what we don’t realize is that we are causing our own destruction. Our friends or partners or family members are not to blame. Instead it is yourself. You chose to put your desires and your own commitments aside for the world. You created the “People Pleasing” Role on your own, until you can understand and accept that you will continue to live angst of not doing everything for everyone.
In my readings I came across a quote that I believe people who have let themselves reach this point and are ready to change it should repeat to themselves on a daily basis.
- Stop. Literally stop right now and think about the times you have said yes, when you really wanted to say no.
- Take your time. If someone asks for a favor, take time to think about it or check your schedule.
- Be Fair. Am I being fair to myself and others in my life if I say yes?
- Don’t over apologize. If you can’t make a commitment or have to say no, a simple “I am sorry” is fine.
- Start small. Limit your availability to help, set a time limit, or ask for assistance on small things.
- Forget the fear. If others get mad because you say no occasionally, they are not people you should be surrounding yourself with anyways.
- Ask for help. recognizing when it’s too much to handle or if you need help is a sign of someone who is confident and assertive.
Free your self from the prison you live in. Advise yourself that your ideas, thoughts, and feelings matter to. Take care of yourself , you deserve to receive what you desire. In the process some people may squander from your life but in the end you are left with a refreshing life filled with delight and jubilation. #ThatsJustMyOpinion
“People will forget all the things you have done, But hold against you, the one thing you couldn’t do”